A lass’ tartan skirts as lifted,
Demonstrates her gifted…
Sense of style
And joyful smile,
Aye, lassie, you’re more than just gifted!
–
–J.E.C.
A LASS’ TARTAN SKIRTS!
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Category Archives: cliche’s
HONKIE HAIKU
HONKIE HAIKU
(i’S A WHITE FOLK!)
–
His poor heart is crushed
She doesn’t say much when rushed….
His chances are mush!
–J.E.C. (Author initials to separate haiku)
–
“SLINGING SLANG”
–
Hispanic…gringo,
Nipponese…round eyes,
On the streets…HEY, YOU!
–J.E.C.
–
HAREM SCARE’EM AND ME!
HAREM SCARE ‘EM AND ME !
(To the tune of “THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS”…A SONG)
–
He thought he’d like a harem–
Oh, what a great idea–
Collecting beautiful women
For each day of the year…
Have one of every hair color:
Of red-heads, two or three,
Some that change with the season
Oh what a company!
–
But modern girls aren’t like the ones
That lived in olden time,
They’re much more educated,
Don’t easily resign…
Their lives and their futures
To a fat cat jailer-king,
To volunteer they’d like to hear
His cash disbursement ring.
–
Logistics would be maddening
Even if all were convinced,
Coming from all over
When he saw the bill he winced…
He began feeling outnumbered
Cooperation thin,
Instead of coming one-by-one
They all came after him!
–
He couldn’t pay their wages
So all up and left,
His fine plans for his evenings–
Not a single one was kept…
And then he got the bills for
The leaving of each one,
He decided then and there
Modern harems were no fun!
–
I thought of the same thing myself,
Like “THE HAREM OF BIRDS”
But only beautiful bloggers–
Women, in other words…
An exclusive club with just one man
My wife would veto fast,
My flesh already wants control—
The concept sounds a blast.
–
But thinking realistically
My cost is way too much,
I’ll lose those friends who cannot stand
A married man’s touch…
Long-distance relationships
Are harder to maintain,
I’d just as soon give up now
Before I feel the pain!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
SECRET HIDING PLACE
SECRET HIDING PLACE
–
He hid away his little toy
In a place he could view…
Now he can’t find the little thing
Or the file, to view!
–
It wasn’t one of his normal toys
Or how he usually sent…
He’d like to get it out someday
But he doesn’t know where it went.
–
In truth it was the kind of thing
That he should soon delete…
But since he can’t find it
He has to admit defeat!
–
He will try one more time,
Perhaps it didn’t “take”…
If that is gtrue, his job is done—
Such a piece of cake!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
SUNDAY IS COMING!
SUNDAY IS COMING!
–
I sure hope I’ll make it out
Depite my gimpy leg…
Getting to our church service
Will raise spirits a peg!
–
Other people slog through woods
And jungles getting there…
I just have to drive the car,
It almost seems unfair.
–
They, through great hardship,
Manage to attend each week…
I’ll miss if too tied
Or my leg begins to leak.
–
Each has their own suffering,
None like that of our Lord…
The more often we attend His church
The more often restored.
–
God accepts worship anywhere, but a crowd
Seems to be His favorite way hearing then sing loud…
Security in numbers–thousands are a thrill.
Taking tme to assemble is His joy and will.
–Jonathan Caswell
MY PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS
MY PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS
–
He heard I knew one of his
Church members vis-a-vis…
My time in Rehab==
Decided to grab
An invite he knew I’d miss.
–
My prejudice against him
Are assumptins he thinks I work in…
Or are they true?
Upon review,
Similar to what I hold against him?
–
His woeking of the Spirit autocratic,
Where no one else better attack it…
I claim an open mind
But when honest find,
Some ideas aren’t automatic!
–
I think I’m more mature than him,
As a matter of observing, not whim…
A simpler faith
He sticks to it straight,
Pefrforming with an energetic vim1
–
He and I in our respective “kinds”
Have some poor experience in mind…
Where both were hurt
By the other hair-shirt*,
Which experiences put me in a bind.
–
I barely get to my own church now,
So I’m expected to go to his somehow…?
Although a change
Might rearrange
An attitude better than now.
–Jonathan Caswell
IF WE DON’T WEAKEN…
IF WE DON’T WEAKEN…
–
Compassion “don’t” need a Deacon,
Folks tell it when you’re speaking…
Despite all the strife
It’s a wonder-filled life,
So joyful if we don’t weaken!
–Jonathan Caswell
“FOREIGNERS” WELCOMED
“FOREIGNERS” WELCOMED
–
He was joking with “Kamala,”a man,
About how his fat fingers can…
Miss the right keys
With nary a sneeze,
Kamala just grinned…and ran!
–Jonathan Caswell
(partially fictional—he didn’t RUN away!)
LIMERICK OF SOLACE
LIMERICK OF SOLACE
–
There was a man who’d call us,
Seeking some form of solace…
He put away
More than a quart a day,
And spent a lot on mollusks.
–Jonathan Caswell
(It’s late—I’m sorry!)
STEALTH FRECKLES
STEALTH FRECKLES!
–
I didn’t get many heckles
Because mine were stealth freckles….
Upper arms
Have charms
Avoiding kids hateful heckles.
–Jonathan Caswell
By the Mighty Mumford 