Category Archives: GRANDMA’S IN THE CELLAR



(new lyrics to: GRANDMA’S IN THE CELLAR)

I-rish I had a shilling

For redheads unwilling

To give me even the time of day…

For many the lass

Who this poor boy will pass

Refusing to go e’en part of the way!

Chasing gold

Gets old

When the end of rainbows run away…

The finest Irish girls

Using me for finger twirls

Then finding another man with which to stay.

A guy just off the boat

Decided to devote

Energies to take away my Carol girl…

This Irish boy called George

Deepened the gorge

By taking Carol out for a whirl.

Spoke a line,

Spent his dime

To steal away my only first girlfriend…

Held back a grade he was mature

Making his girl conquest sure,

I barely saw her ’til the school year’s end!

–Jonathan Caswell



(Sing  to the tune of GRANDMA’S IN THE CELLAR*)

 Power Morcellators

Are lawyers’ meat and taters

As they break upon the litigation scene…

Used in ladies’ operations

Some cause conflagerations,

Fulfilling ambulance chasers’ dreams!

On TV…

Is a plea…

For people who want to sue them blind,

Who want a windfall spree

From a hysterectomy

With a settlement that blows the mind!

TV lawyers tout the drugs

Whether new or old with bugs,

Side effects that could yield a golden store…

Whether ACTOS or the Pill*

Always something will

Be discovered that might profit lawyers more!

On TV…

Is the plea…

Like with mesothelioma tag along,

Gather victims resolute

For a juicy lawsuit,

With so much at stake  how can they go wrong?

–Jonathan Caswell

* ACTOS or The Pill…a  diabetic medicine with serious side effects and certain  contraceptives with severe side effects, respectively