Sending two semi trailer trucks
To the same place costs big bucks…
Glad it’s not me
In that company,
Who may be out of luck!
–
–J.E.C.
PACKAGE SERVICE MIX UP
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Category Archives: limerick poetry
A DIME A DOZEN
A DIME A DOZEN!
–
Jerks are a dime a dozen,
I think I ran into his cousin,
His playing dumb
Enraged me some,
I hung up on a fool’s cousin!
–
So the guy calls up again,
Snapping loudly his gum…
Chewing like a cow
Extremely loud,
He hung up—had his fun.
–
I could have been better-prepared,
Perhaps I even erred…
Was in no mood
For gum–cow-chewed–
When angry my reason’s impaired.
–
–Jonathan Caswell
LITERARY SLEIGHT-OF-HAND
LIERARY SLEIGHT-OF-HAND
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Choosing alluring titles,
A skill writers perceive as vital…
Catching the eye
Of readers to try,
Seeing the “eye” in eye-full.
–
Alluring but just a handle,
Won’t work if one can’t hold a candle…
To the test underneath–
Attention is brief,
To other sites readers amble.
–
Providing that narrative hook,
Educators have written books…
Claiming to know
The best way to go,
But reading theirs costs you big bucks.
–
-I think that experience
Should guide you forth-hence…
Learn as you blog
You young dog!
Learn literary common sense.
–
–Jonathan Caswell
OUT OF THE DARK THEY CALL…
OUT OF THE DARK THEY CALL…
–
I hear voices when awake,
That offer that I should partake…
Of salty snacks
And lewd paperbacks,
Revisiting what I’d forsake.
–
These voices out of the gloom,
My own evil nature assumed…
On higher levels
Directed by devils,
Who would have the body exhumed.
–
Given right now I’m full,
Food bad for you has great pull…
I would crave
Junk food to the grave,
Someday these cravings do dull!
–
Bought diet soda–a brand
That is in very high demand…
The side effects
Not those one suspects,
There’s danger in that glass in your hand!
–
Success in changing lifestyle,
Will definitely take a while…
Deal with craving
Without caving
In under phantom duress.
–
–Jonathan Caswell
–
PAYDAY REALITIES
PAYDAY REALITIES
–
Hooray for it being payday,
Over half of the check floats away…
We’ll buy a treat
Some things to eat,
The rest goes for bills to pay.
–
By the way, we try to pay tithe,
It’s not under Law so we thrive…
Blessings pour through
As we give God his due,
A blessing to husband and wife!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
RENT-A-MOTHER1 (WHEN ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIALL!!!)
RENT-A-MOTHER!
(When absolutely essential!!!)
–
At times when I find too much drama,
I panic and search out a Momma…
Behind whose skirts
I hide my hurts,
Separating them by comma.
–
I can’t say why I chose,
But avoided runs in her hose…
She let me stay
Till the monster went away,
I thanked her for being so close!
–
Imagine a man of fifty-eight,
Scared and needing escape…
Barrages are scary
And he’s more wary
Of how to avoid burns on his nape.
–
–Jonathan Caswell
APPLE CRATE
APPLE CRATE
–
I see another partial crate
Of apples That someone did donate…
Will tomorrow see
My wife rope me
Into applesauce or pie filling make?
–
She has nearly two crates now,
Processing all those somehow…
Applesauce frozen
I think she’s chosen
The best way to preserve and stow.
–
–Jonathan Caswell,
SUCCUBUS
SUCCUBUS
–
Succubus, a female demon,
Often encountered when dreaming…
Temptress extraordinaire
A seductress rare,
Sexual exploits scheming.
–
In olden times attacked men
Who were often grateful then…
for this hot date
Who couldn’t wait
Until any enticement brought in!
–
There also were incubus men,
Who showed up seducing women…
The story goes
That libido slows
From too many times with them!
–
Modern times changed
The meaning for gender-same…
Her hot date
She shivers for of late,
Until the next that date came.
–
Alas I’ve dreamed mermaids as thus,
My adolescent succubus…
Never really happened
With one so nicely sharpened,
An adolescent dream went bust!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
HOW HE WANTS!
HOW HE WANTS!
–
How he wants to flirt,
With friends who will not hurt…
Him for his guff,
No one in the buff,
Perhaps a partly unbuttoned shirt?
–
He’s careful in what he says,
Could he say anything without waves…
Adventure is over
As he grows older,
Is feeling loved to be lost in the haze?
–
–Jonathan Caswell
ALL QUIET ON THE WORK FRONT!
ALL QUIET ON THE WORK FRONT!
–
All quiet here at work,
All cleaners into the murk…
One more coming
We’ll count in our summing,
As would a competent clerk.
–
Work proceeds at the other end
Of the complex and work rarely ends…
Quiet hallways
Most workers stay
Where they can talk with friends.
–
Somehow I manage to write,
Forcing ideas to light…
At the end of my crop,
The blogger must stop,,
There’s nothing I’d rather do tonight.
–
–Jonathan Caswell
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By the Mighty Mumford 