IT’S COME TO THIS:
Night supervisor saw a sight,
Called me to see if ’twas right…
A dog and a man
Chasing geese as planned,
Into escape and flight.
–
“No more Mr. Nice Guy,”
As with a German Shepherd they try…
Evacuating troops
Of geese and their poops,
While continuing to harass the lawn-care guys.
–
Not all of us want to see them go,
But Corporate’s decided to not show…
Any mercy for wildlife
That causes any strife,
A World Headquarters must be nice, you know!
–Jonathan Caswell
HAD HIM A THOUGHT…
While laying down caught
Up in resting, had a thought…
Pain medicine-born
(Or fermented corn?),
It grew so fearfully fraught.
–
Remember, he was wracked in pain,
Finding relief (it wasn’t cocaine!)…
Juggling a vision
Of limited wisdom,
Enthusiasm he barely contained!
–
Like an old man with no more thrills,
He imagined a roomful of girls…
Women, if you will,
Waiting until
This man came in so they’d unfurl.
Imagine a roomful of hugging
Women…no cameras or bugging…
‘Twas all too much
For this man to touch,
Sensory overload came a-tugging!
–
‘Twas more than he could’ve stood,
And fainted from way too much good
Attention female,
Behind the veil
He HAD TO ESCAPE…and he would!
–
With fantasy circuits blown
He struggled his way back home…
To his quiet nook
With a good book,
“Too much at once,” he groaned.
–Jonathan Caswell
THE WARY PIGEON
Did you hear of the foolish pigeon
Who wanted to warm up a smidgen…
In the chiller room
With machinery boom,
Whose prospects turned so Stygian?
–
Machinery was loud,
The reason there’s never a crowd…
Of pigeons in there
In vibrating air,
Their hearing is over-endowed.
–
The pigeon paced the room floor
Not able to take anymore…
Soon as it could it flew,
Got warier too,
For now it knew what was in store!
–Jonathan Caswell
MEMORIES LAID
He remembers the feelings
He had with those he had dealings…
Not all female
Nor all burned his tail,
But remembered the sources appealing.
–
It’s sad, but he learned a few lessons,
Having to avoid sessions…
Of blame and reproof,
It hurt to goof
And face up to verbal redressings.
–
But at least he’s learned and moves on,
The residuals aren’t totally gone…
He thinks about them
Occasionally when
He’s reminded of escape as a pawn.
–Jonathan Caswell
LATE NIGHT PUNK
A man just went out,
Sprang back with a shout…
He saw a skunk
Nearby that stunk,
Wanting to avoid a rout.
–
The skunk looked at him,
Deciding the other’s whim…
They both went their way,
No tomato juice sprayed
At least not needed for him!
–Jonathan Caswell
HIS BEST FRIEND
It was easy to get bitter again
Even if she was his best friend…
All the ways they had failed,
Memories too detailed
Threatened to make him rue their mutual end.
–
It was tempting to go off in a rage,
But he knew he had to act his age…
To go off on a binge
He felt more than just a twinge,
But with what?–their pocketbook was a cage.
–
He looked and saw women he could see,
But making connections couldn’t be…
Things that he had to hide
Were waiting deep inside,
Negating benefits from a spree.
–
His pain and suffering would endure
As long as waking up was sure…
To live was to hope,
Through darkness he’d grope
‘Cause escape was anything but pure.
–Jonathan Caswell
SEARCH ENGINE INTRIGUE
A certain computer search engine*,
It could be all–I don’t know—
Has a pre-set marital status
That other users can be shown.
–
It pre-set me as “single”,
Although married now twenty-four years…
I got scads of lonely heart women
Stacked up in my E-mail by tiers!
–
It didn’t matter when I changed it
To “married”…they descended in flights…
Got out of there quick as I could,
Before getting caught in cat fights!
—Jonathan Caswell
*Search engine unnamed by author’s choice—they must have made a lot of revenue that way!
By the Mighty Mumford 