BACHELOR PAD
The resident bachelor
Needed a place to bunk….
The water hose casing was conscience-raising,
But privacy there was sunk.
–
Under the old guard shed
Was a space that’ll suit just fine…
A place to lay one’s head,
‘Til the ten PM waking time!
–
Best of all, he won’t be disturbed
While taking his long beauty nap…
No one dares look underneath the shed
For fear of a skunk-odored ZAP!
–Jonathan Caswell
🙂
SEASONAL CHARGES***
(A song parody of “I Wear My Pink Pajamas”)
(1.) I wash my fingers often in the Summer when it’s hot,
And wear wooly mittens in the winter when it’s not,
But sometimes in the Springtime
And sometimes in the Fall…
I get a static shock
And I jump up the wall!
–
WOE…WOE…WOE…IS ME!
Caught by static ‘tricity….
The door knobs I touch
Sometimes hurt so much,
With a ZAP of built-up charge!
–
(2.) My job is to check door knobs to see if they’re locked,
Strolling on the carpet tends to guarantee me shocked….
I use the back of my hand
To touch the metal frame,
And if there is static, it will not hurt the same!
–
(3.) The seasonal charges do not always cause me grief,
But when I am off the job I forget charge relief…
My fingers touch my kitty’s nose
And he jumps across the room,
He shies away from touching me…
Not trusting me so soon!
–
WOE…WOE…WOE IS ME!
Caught again by static ‘tricity…
The kitty cat may claim
I have done it all the same,
But it happened by stroking his mane!
–Jonathan Caswell
(www.school-for-champions.com)
(AUTHOR’S NOTE:***In other words, the tune of “The Battle Hymn of The Republic”)
By the Mighty Mumford 